I've been in a mood lately, a funk is what it can be better classified as. Lonely, I guess would best describe it. Rebecca has felt distant, perhaps of my own doing, perhaps that she and I see so little of each other these days.
I, and she, have different work schedules these days. I work the classic Eight until Five and she the more unorthodox Seven until Midnight. I got a job working at a call center as a Inbound Billing Support agent for a postage company and Rebecca has her old job just with adjusted hours to fit mine with enough time to eat dinner. My funk's origins lie in the fact that we only have dinner.
Sad it sounds that I miss being unemployed, seeing her morning, noon, and night, with little to worry about except setting enough money aside for our rent. It sounds like a big deal, especially when you have a child to raise, but not when the one you wake to is the her the one that is SHE. I left her a note one evening expressing my wish to be by her side when we awake, but she didn't read it until the next morning. That last sentence should speak volumes of our passing nature these days.
I hate being the only witness to those cute moments with Jonah, the kid. I hate falling asleep in an empty bed. I hate the fact that I long for that goodnight kiss. I hate the fact that I have to sacrifice time with MY family in order to make ends meat. I hate that I know that I have become an adult; Yet I regret nothing.