Sun, Nov. 14th, 2004, 08:06 pm
No more than a few days after my self-pity post of unemployment I once again have a job, that job at my old coffeeshop, home as I have called it and will until I find something more comfortable. I was sitting around the house this afternoon, checking the want ads, when my phone rang, it was my old boss she greeted me with kind words and then got promptly to business. She asked me what I was looking for as in related to hours and I told her, no answer, she said she would call me back. An hour or so past until the phone rang next, it was her as I suspected, twenty-eight hours this week and a meeting the next to discuss the future. In my opinion this can only favor me, at the worst I work the same amount of hours, and if that be the case then I find further employment which was my original plan. In a best case scenario, however, I get full-time, a raise, and a manageria deal. Either wat it won't kill me. I've resolve nonetheless to refain from falling in my old ways, slack is my enemy.
With all hope things will return to relative normality once again.
Fri, Nov. 12th, 2004, 12:00 am
I lost my job, well I know where it is but I know I won't be there when I find it. Rebecca seemed alright with it, mind you though I told here as I rolled about in bed. Point being is that I have renderre myself useless as a family man.
I've been on the prowl but the market seems slim, I called my uncle who is always giving me offers but they are in the process of laying off, and Becca's uncle is fully staffed, my only option for now is going back to the coffeeshop which will require me to swallow a great deal of pride/ Though I miss my regulars, though I miss everything about the job, I can't help but feel that I'm sinking.
I wish I was trained in a trade, I once wanted to learn film, but nothing has ever come to seed. Most of my friends are on their carrerr path, I'm wishing I had one. It wouldn't matter I guess if my Bean was looking forwards but I feel as if all the financial burden was on me, perhaps that is what comes with being a father I'm not sure.
I will remain positive, or at leat keep up te appearence of. Something I hope will come my way, perhaps I will find myself back home at the coffeeshop where I consider it HOME. Life is what it is and nothing more. You are dealt the hands and you have to play them as you see fit. I'm sure I could go into more cliches but I will spare you.
By the By: Does enyone ever take my musical suggestions?
Wed, Oct. 27th, 2004, 05:40 pm
The family life has me slowly becoming domesticated, today for instance I was driving through a quant Lake Michigan coastal town and as I stared out the window pondering what those on the other side were doing at this moment, drugs, wallking the dog, having an Earth-shattering orgasm, I decided I would like to buy a house on the lake somewhere. I know it is the goal of most to own their own home, but it has never been mine. Even as I child I would go on endlessly about the need to move about live and see as much as your eyes and pocketbook could handle. Decadent as the age of eight, but now wanting to settle down and raise my child in quiet and relative peace. Gone are my days of listless meandering about the countryside, fare the well.
That's not to say that I wish to wander, but more that I remember I once wanted to.
Sat, Oct. 2nd, 2004, 11:48 am
The Rise of Old Style
A while back I started the Randon Review, by awhile back I mean ober a year ago, it got decent response but after to posts I took a hiatus from LJ all together. Seeing as I have the time and the resources once again I figured why not start it back up. The one problem I am facing thus far though is that alot of people are either foreign and I can't read their language or they are "friends only." I find the whole friends only deal rather pointless when it comes to an online journal, I thought the whole purpose was input, sympathy, someone to tell you that indeed your life is as shitty as you say it is.
On to the Review:
Location: New York, New York
(Based on 1 to 10 scale)
Interests: 5 (he/she doesn't list any, I have to respect that)
Background: 5 (a default background)
Icons: 7 (has Bender, men in space suits, and the word "assaulted.")
Based solely on the most recent entry I dig this journal, any update about smoking in the shower is generally favoured by me as I've done it numerous times. You would be suprised the lengths you'll go to to have a cigarette when you are running late for work. He/She seems to have endearing quirks that make his/her life worth following, but judging at the anonimity they try to keep through lack of listings I would say perhaps this journal is merely for the individual. I could however be wrong and they yearn for your comments, I doubt it though.
All in all, I think this is the first random journal I've read (which I read a lot to kill boredom, I enjoy the voyeaurism) that I actually enjoy. He/She isn't whiny, just lays it all out for you and everyone else to read, I like that, I wish I could be more that.
Mon, Sep. 27th, 2004, 08:14 pm
We have all these moments to ourselves, quiet epiphanies I guess you could call them. I used to believe they were a product of atmosphere, of mood, of willingness to accept them as they are surrounding us all the time, but I now realize they come without prejudice. I lay on the couch thinking nothing imparticular and calm washes over. I walk to the corner station and I find myself watching the kid riding the bike with two flat tires with an overwhelming sense of joy. This happens and I scare myself, as I normally prefer to control my output even if that output is controlled my something other than me, something I allow to grab ahold.
There are no tears, there are no grimaces, or smiles, just a calm.
Fri, Sep. 24th, 2004, 05:53 pm
It has been a hectic past two weeks, everyday feeling like I am drowning, and for the most part the light at the proverbial tunnel still needs a squint to see. It's difficult to get into, a lot of resentment of the government for lack of assistance when it comes to working families, and a lot of resentment for myself for not being the atypical providing father. All of these issues seem to have come to head and since I don't wish to stress Rebecca I have little to nobody to talk to.
Screw Difficulty I Will Get Into It...
Apparently Rebecca and I make to much money to recieve assistance by way of day care or otherwise. This fact is laughable seeing as a household we barely bring in 24,000 a year, I don't know since when but I guess that makes us middle class, I wasn't informed of this otherwise I would have been trying to keep up with the Jones' this entire time. So that being said, we can't afford the 800 a month to put Jonah in day care when we work leaving Rebecca to work night and me to work days, the two of us passing like strangers in the night only to converse on the weekends.
and no we don't know of anybody to babysit, but if you do suggestions will be taken into consideration.
As for me as a "provider," well I stink. I make OK money, just enough to take care of things, but when sticks are thrown into spokes I fall on my face. We owe rent, I have a ticket I need to pay, electic, and telephone, the last being turned off a couple days ago luckily I was able to take care of it right away and get it back on. The only hope I have now is that Rebecca is back to work and money should be solid in a month or so, but I point out again sticks and spokes.
If you told me a couple years ago that I would be making 1200 a month I would've laughed with the endless spending oppurtunities my mind could come up with. Now 1200 is peanuts, even considering what making that resembles to the area I live in, cheap rent and so on. If I was back in Minneapolis I would be in the same boat I am now, scratching.
Keep grinding it out, borrowing from whoever will allow me to. Soon enough we will peak above the horizon... I hope. If that doesn't work I've been thinking about auctioning off naming rights for my body parts of e-bay, it seems just quirky enough to be a success.
I feel no better now that I have vented.
Sun, Sep. 5th, 2004, 11:30 pm
I'm back, or at least I am for now. Seems I only write with changing seasons, I hope to change that as I have internet access once again. The only problem I now face is where to start...
I has been one hell of a summer, my first child was born not but a month ago. His name is Jonah, he is a relatively attractive child, but I am biased as he looks like me. If you would like to see pictures go to username Blackdreams, as that is his mother and she has this preciously annoying habit of taking constant pictures.
I don't really know what to say on the topic of fatherhood that doesn't sound hoackey. Yes, it puts things in perspective, yes you cherish them, yes, yes, yes. If you want wisdom check-out a book.
The rest of my life is going fine I guess. I started a new job, working for a music company, the pay is great, but I miss my coffeeshop. Oh well. Aside from that I haven't much to say. The difficult thing about not posting for such a long time is that you have no way of summarizing lost time.
Wed, Jan. 21st, 2004, 07:32 am
Alright, when I said I would post more often I lied, or must have considering the time which has passed since my proclamation.
On to more important things:
I wish there was a way to be non-chalant without description when it comes to the written word; then it would be easy for me to tell you all I am going to be a father without receiving any ill-wishes. I am, at this moment, excited. Since finding out however I have gone through such a bevy of emotion that it is often difficult to grasp anything. I am, and have always been (initial shock aside), excited at the idea, and soon reality, of having a child. It is in the area of logistics and hardships that are causing peptic tides of manic waves.
The mother is, current girlfriend and long-time friend, Rebecca. I'm not sure what I should or want to say about her aside that I love her and give her all the credit in the world for dealing with my antics the past few months. Soon she will have two children to look after, myself being the other, I wasn't sure if you would think she had a child from before.
I still have yet to tell everybody, though she is now 3 1/2 months along, and I don't know why. I guess I am trying to cut myself off from any criticism or having to explain myself.
Trying to avoid the: "I know we are young, I know we are dumb," conversations I am sure to have sooner or later.
All is well right now, and that is all I aspire for it to be.
Thu, Sep. 11th, 2003, 05:08 pm
I preface with an apology regarding my lack of updates; it isn't that I have been busy, I'll save that excuse for when I sleep with you and "forget" to call, but life hasn't been boring either. Another Summer has come and gone, the air smells of burnt leaves, and the school yard crossing guard slows my drive to work each day. Fall is upon us.
I haven't much to say, as it is more difficult to tell the stories of a hiatus as it is when you ramble on each day. I quit my job no more than an hour ago, well I quit but they just don't know it yet. I'm thinking I'll save the lack of suprise for when I pick up my paycheck tomorrow evening. Never fear though I have another job which I start next Tuesday. I am the new purveyor of caffeinated beverages at one of the two local coffeeshops. Needless of saying I am glad to be done with the greasey spoon burger flipping I'm used to.
I wish I had more to say at this time but I will disappoint. I doubt many of you got excited to see an update anyway. Take care, and I promise to be more dilligent in the future.
Location: Michigan (Apparently the KKK Capital of Michigan)
Interests: 3 (I should give him minus points for listing himself as an interest. I mean I love myself frequently but I don't think I consider myself a hobby; well maybe on Sunday's but there is rarely anything good on television)
Background: 1 (your standard hideousness)
Icons: 0 (all the icons are of himself, and he looks like a pig-fucker)
I don't really know what to say about this journal except that I know I would like to punch this guy in the kidney. I only read one entry and skimmed a few others never really wanting to get to know this jack-ass. This is all rather mean-spirited, I know, but try reading his user page for fuck's sake it's like being stung in the genitals by bee's. This guys parents should have left him as a stain on their sheets. I was going to say I feel bad for being such an asshole, but I am sure you all know that would be a lie; I will declare in this open forum that I am an asshole, I have always been an asshole, and I am sure I will die an asshole.
Overall Rating: I let you guys decide; he has something like 162 friends so there might be some appeal...though I doubt it.